Friendship Physics

A story of love and annoyance in the kitchen.

Ellen and I were roommates our senior year in college. It was kind of noted at the time that she and I were quite different from one another. For starters, she had been a popular high school cheerleader with a steady boyfriend. I hear that during this period I was very introspective (read socially awkward) and chronically dateless. She was orderly; if you had asked me then I’d tell you she was maddingly meticulous. I was messy; she would detail how hopelessly absentminded I was. On occasion, not many but occasionally, she annoyed the shit out of me. There’s memories of the frequent times I so exasperated her that she screamed and not in a particularly affectionate way. Ellen was kind and generous, made friends easily, enthralled everyone on the city’s Caribbean soccer team with her beauty and sparkingly personality. I was, well, the far side of opposite. How we managed to live together not just through that year but after we graduated, and remain close to this day, is one of those attract-and-repell mysteries that only some physic’s genius can explain. The result, though, is irrefutable: I adore her; she adores me.

Our one common ground has always been cooking. I couldn’t afford the college food plan and she decided not to have it either, so we ended up making all our meals on the dorm’s two burner stove. Our most recent guess at what we made begins with gazpacho which would have been exotic then because Mexican food was just beginning to come into focus. We probably made up a lot of other things based on limited but imaginative resources but we agree that we ate quite well. We felt bad as the other girls and the boys from the floor above trudged by on their way to the cafeteria while we carried our plates back to our room and closed the door.

In the years after we graduated, Ellen went on to a professional culinary career. She developed the creative concept for several successful restaurants, conducted research, and created recipes and menus. She opened her own café and, most recently, was the director of a large dining facility for a non-profit organization. She has the clippings to prove that people loved and appreciated her cooking.

From a newspaper review profile touting one of her restaurants.

Meanwhile, I read a mountain of cookbooks and wrote all kinds of stuff about food and how we live. I nailed down the complexity of flavors and ingredient measurements. I may not have earned Ellen’s credentials but I was no slump.

We are now two old friends, who know the rutted treads life has left on us and consider them pretty comical when we discuss their weirdness. We live many states apart and so we text and call one another as much as we can, talking the same way as if we were in our dorm room. She still annoys me and I still exasperate her but by now it’s only when we share recipes and cook together.

For instance, take this weekend. We spend the usual amount of times mulling over the heartaches, ambitions, and boundless enthusiasms of our age. We only say goodbye because she needs to be off for a physical therapy appointment.

Two minutes later, our most recent kitchen kerfuffle commences over text. She begins:

When she is home again she sends me the recipe:

A few days later, I send a picture of my results:

Her response follows along with my one liners:

See how our friendship swings all over the place, from annoying to exasperated? Back and forth, back and forth, always with love.

Bonus Quiz! Guess who made which delicious Pumpkin Chocolate Energy Ball!

A)

B)

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Pumpkin Chocolate Energy Balls

3 cups oatmeal (thick cut oats)
1 cup all natural pumpkin puree
1 cut almond butter (or other nut/no sugar)
2/3 cup pure maple syrup (or raw honey or part chop dates and 1/3 of syrup)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/2 tablespoon vanilla
4 to 6 tablespoons ground flax (if dough seems too wet add more)
1 cup chopped walnuts, almonds, coconut or any combination
1/2 cup mini dark chocolate chips or cacao nubs
cocoa powder

Combine all together in medium bowl. Roll into balls and roll in cocoa powder.
Place on parchment paper and freeze one hour. Store inrefrigerator in an air tight container  If kept frozen they can last a little longer--takes no more than 5 minutes to unfreeze before eating.