You don’t. Except I had no choice when a reporter from a national newspaper insisted on watching me make a pie after I fed her lunch. She had the impression that this was something I did every day because of my recently published book, Pie Every Day. It is a mélange of stories and recipes, the stories being more important to me than the recipes. My editor agreed they were important but nevertheless insisted that they be surrounded by pie recipes. She kept asking for more, not knowing I really didn’t know much about pies. I kept trying to satisfy her demand with more research and begging friends and relatives for their family recipes. Then I spent months learning how to bake them. This is how I came to understand that the one hard principal about a successful pie dough is coldness—flour, fat, water, even the rolling pin.
It was 97 degrees the day the reporter was scheduled to arrive and there hadn’t been anything cold in the house for days. I pleaded with the publicist to reschedule and she responded in a tone that communicated I should stop whining and find a way to trick the weather. My house wasn’t air-conditioned and a bunch of rattling fans only churned the hot air around. I had two sons under the age of seven. The oldest was at camp. The youngest woke up with pink eye. I seriously considered dropping him off at his nursery school and running away before the staff noticed the thick layer of crust shutting his left eye. Instead, I dutifully plopped him in front of the TV tuned to the Cartoon Central channel and prayed a merciful God would lull him to sleep before the reporter arrived.
I started putting together a salade niçoise for lunch. The reporter requested something appropriate for the July Fourth holiday. I decided on a plain raspberry and blueberry pie piled over a thick English custard. This was my attempt to be historically symbolic, a representation of how the Continental Army overran the British at Yorktown, the final battle of the Revolutionary War.
The reporter arrived right on time. My wide awake son insisted on being carried to answer the door. His sweet musky, sweaty body stuck to mine. His eye had bloomed into an alarming crust ringed puffy bulls-eye. The reporter walked several paces behind as I led her to the kitchen. My son slipped down my side to a stool while I explained to her how weather affects dough making. As hot as the house already was, it would grow hotter when the oven was heated to 400 degrees. This was why I decided to already bake a crust in the relative coolness of the night before.
“That’s okay. Go ahead and make a dough,” she said.
I started by throwing the bowl and blade of my food processor into the freezer. While we waited, she asked probing questions about my previous professional baking history. I truthfully replied I had none and offered her lemonade while trying to amuse my clingy son. I lugged him into the dining room and dropped him into a chair. The reporter sat at the far end of the table and continued to investigate my pie background as we ate our salad. My one hope was that by proofing all the recipes in the book, I sounded somewhat legitimate.
By the time I cleared our plates, my son had melted down under the table and wailed himself into a nap. In the kitchen, I assembled the food processor, scooped in two cups of chilled flour and several tablespoons of frozen lard; churned the processor a few times and sprinkled in melting ice chips. The reporter stood uncomfortably close to take photos while I dumped the dough onto the counter where it immediately began to expire like a deflating tire. There was nothing else to do but laugh at the sticky mess and regale her with valuable tips on how to make dough during a heat wave.
“If you absolutely need a pie you should avoid the worse of the heat by staying up very late or getting up very early,” I told her. “Throw everything in the freezer, even plastic wrap or wax paper, and your pie plate. Don’t stop to talk to anyone. Don’t answer your phone. Don’t handle the dough anymore than you have to. This is important: accept the fact that a perfect circle may be impossible to achieve. Make up for its defects with a good filling. Even then, understand that, while the pie will be delicious, it may very well look disastrous. That’s about it,” I said as I draped the drooping dough into the pie plate.
“Oh,” she said.
Her article appeared a few days later. It was an honest portrayal of a woman making a pie under unimaginable duress. The publicist was a little disappointed. But the book continues to sell quite well.
Battle of Yorktown Fourth of July Pie
This is a very easy pie and quick to put together in the coolness of the night. The recipe may seem long but you can make each part ahead of time and assemble the pie right before you serve.
I used a crème pâtissière instead of a custard because it holds up better. But custard is preferred for its delicate hold of the berries. If weather permits, pull out your favorite custard recipe and use fewer berries so they won’t sink below the custard.
Blind Baked Crust
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled ½ teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon sugar 1 cup very cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes 6 to 8 tablespoons ice water, or more as needed
Start by chilling the bowl and blade of a food processor, the flour and sugar, for at least 30 minutes. When everything is sufficiently cold, add the flour, salt, and sugar to the processor’s bowl. Pulse a few times to combine.
Scatter the cold butter cubes over the flour mixture. Pulse for about 10 seconds then quickly begin to sprinkle in the ice water until a dough begins to form. Be careful not to overmix.
Dump the dough out on a piece of plastic wrap and form into a ball as you gather the edges together and wrap up over it. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Roll the dough out on a lightly floured surface then drape it over a pie plate.
Fill the center with pie weights, or rice or beans and bake for about 12 minutes or until the crust is a toasty brown.
Cool completely before assembling the pie.
Filling
Note: I used crème pâtissière instead of custard because it wouldn’t separate as much in the heat.
Easy Crème Pâtissière
2 cups whole milk 1 vanilla bean, split and scraped ½ cup granulated sugar 3 tablespoons cornstarch pinch of salt 4 egg yolks 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into cubes
Combine the milk and the vanilla bean in a saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium heat. Remove the saucepan, cover, and let steep for at least 30 minutes.
Stir together sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a medium size bowl. Whisk in the egg yolks until mixture is pale yellow and smooth. It will be a lot less strenuous if you use a mixer with a whisk attachment.
Remove the vanilla bean from the milk. Slowly pour the milk into the egg yolk mixture in a thin stream as you continue to whisk.
Return the mixture to the saucepan and whisk constantly as it cooks over a medium flame until the cream begins to thicken. (Use a handheld whisk for this part.)
Take the saucepan off the heat and whisk in the butter until melted.
Pour the cream into a bowl and cover the surface with plastic wrap to keep a skin from forming.
Assembling the Pie
Crème pâtissière Baked pie shell 2 pints each of rinsed blueberries and raspberries. Use more, depending on the size of your pie.
Pour the crème pâtissière into the baked pie shell and smooth out the surface. You may want to refrigerate the pie to firm up the crème a little but it isn’t necessary if you work quickly.
Strewn the blueberries over the entire surface, making sure all the crème is covered. Mound the berries into a little peak at the center. Nestle the raspberries among the blueberries. Mushed raspberries may be used to circle the edges.
If the berries aren’t as sweet as they could be, sprinkle the surface with sugar. This also gives a festive sparkle.
Refrigerate the pie until ready to serve.
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Happy Fourth everyone! Stay cool!
What a story! I don't know which is scarier cooking in that heat or having an encrusted toddler in my arms! But I had something similar in 1974, West Hartford Connecticut, hot like a wet sponge, had to make chocolate mousse for dinner party. Got up in the wee hours before dawn so it would be cooler and wound up using my electric mixer inside the refrigerator as I sort of tried to climb in with it. Ahhh, being a young married – jumping through hoops to impress. That's over now!🤣 Thanks, Pat, your stories always please and some tickle out memories hidden deep. ❤️💋
This happened to me, too. 4 students in an hot kitchen making pie and the WA PO sent the food editor and top photographer on a hot day. Then it got hotter with the oven blasting and 7 of us in a not so big kitchen. Somehow we got through it, the pies all turned out, and so did the article. Whew!