I have written many times about family heirlooms and the unusual items that people treasure and what they mean to the family. The key bit of EVERY family heirloom is knowing its story of who it belonged to and where it came from and those silver plates and goblets will forever live on in your families memory!
You're so right, Paul. The most treasured hierloom I have is a small beat up wood box that held my grandfather's possessions when he came over from Ireland. He would tell my dad of the treasures that were in it and that he would get upon his death. Problem was the key had been lost when he died so my dad pryed open the lock and there they were, my grandfather's treasure: a blue sweather, cigar box that held some coins, a lock of hair tied with a pink ribbon, buttons, and his and his children's birth certificates. I need to tell my kids the story so they don't see it as just an old wooden box instead of containing their heritage.
Strange lately I have been thinking about my own treasured possessions and if my own children would like to keep them going through the generations or would they sell them thinking of them as just space waster. Since I have boys I think the sentimental meaning may be lost on them. I do have many nieces whom might appreciate the gesture more, but it’s a dilemma for me touched by both guilt (omitting my sons) or perhaps uncertainty. Hopefully I will have time left to decide. Thank you for yet another interesting historical personal story. Love learning so much from your writings.
It is weird, isn't it? In putting things away I've found some of my mom's things in the back of the closet, mainly a pair of wobbly silver candlestick holders. I think they were a wedding present. They're silverplated and so tarnished I couldn't really shine them. I was going to put them in ther Salvation Army bag but then I saw they had a wooden platform underneath that my dad made to keep them from wobbling. That got me! and back they went. I loved your sons'. Mine are the opposite--I something think they've already parcelled out everything in the house, especially the dining room table! I brought up that they have wives who want their f
I can so relate. Everyone in my family knows I am the one who will take any family memento—I've gotten anything from my dad's 1920s twin bed frame (shipped from California to Illinois) to scraps of paper bearing my grandmother's name tucked away in an old game table. I treasure each piece because each is a little piece of a long gone family member.
I am, too! Except for some very valuable things my sister kept. But I don't care about them. I rather have the everyday things. One burden is my family thinks I'll write about them. This story is the first one I told. I don't know why except I feel you have to have the story behind them and those for the most part have been lost. But I gotta get on the stick about finding it out.
I think it's so touching that Sam and Al feel strongly about holding on to family heirlooms. It means that they truly cherish the moments at your dining room table, and want to continue the tradition as they move forward. Sweet, so sweet.
It is and it sort of has taken me aback. The thing is Sam's wife has very strong feelings for her mom's table. They're great cooks so they'll have lot of dinner parties but not sure he'll win that battle. Al would want it but his fiance didn't grow up with a family table and neither of them really cook. Good thing I'm not going to be around!
Anne that reminds me of my family silverware that my Mother treasured and left it to me. When my daughter married I asked her if she wanted it and the response was no thanks. So since there was only one nephew with the family name and he had a daughter I gave her the family silverware. I always remember how we had to polish it as is was used every thanksgiving for dinner with my great aunts and uncles in attendance with our family in a very crowded small kitchen.
My sister got the china even though my mom wanted it to go to me (family drama there). She also got the silverware. She's the oldest and was married and gave dinner parties so it made sense at the time. She says I should use my plates for everyday since they are everyday and then I should buy fine china. I think I'm beyond all that now and just love setting the table as we always have done. That's the important thing.
From the detailed comments I see that you have hit a nerve. I, too, have been wrestling with what my son and his wife will truly want as my mom's set of Lenox sits in our garage waiting for them to have the room. A lovely piece.
I didn't think it would, either. Something about it being the dining plates, all the drama and fun around the table, I don't know. Then again, the one thing my husband and his brothers fought over was the two stereo cabinets their dad had made afterbhe became famous. We got them. I secretly hate them because they're too massive and REALLY have a dark history in their family. But there they are, centered in the living room, and my sons fight over them AND the dining room table AND the damn silver!
Pat, this piece really tugged at my heart. Silver and all these possessions we have inherited from family before us out of duty and also because they are beautiful - when polished! - is complicated. You write about it well and all the messy complications. Not sure if my children will ever want family silver because of its upkeep. I hope they do. Family dinners, special occasions, looking fancy for one meal a year - I hope they do!
That's what I felt about the silver plates but over the years, as I hope I got in, they've been such a part of the family. My sons argue about who gets the dining room table which I don't have the heart to tell them that their wives won't want because they'll have their parents' tables. The linens are my thing--a couple of table cloths that were my mom and are so pretty, especially as they are stained in places from the holiday meals she made.--who irons and starch linens anymore?!--because, as you say, they make one meal a year look lovely.
It's nice to see that some people still cherish things that have sentimental value. There are reminders of past and present generations of our family in every room of our house.
However, more and more when we talk to other retired family members and friends we are hearing over and over again that the next generation is not interested in inheriting our stuff. So, in their opinion, there is no point in saving it.
Although there is no question that we are weighed down with stuff, we are going to keep it around for now. I am not sure when we'll be ready to let go...
My sister has been downsizing--and she had to as the one who really wanted things, not only of our family but our aunt who she was close to. The argument has been that she is the one with daughters who would want china, silverware, heirlooms. But they don't want them. They're not their taste and they're not sentimental. I lobbied for our grandmother's cake dish and plates. I just got them because the daughters disliked them. On the other hand, there are my sentimental sons who are very keen about keeping the dining room table, silver, and crystal together, I think because we had so much fun using them. It's weird, isn't it?
Thank you--this is such an important part of it. There's been occasions when we needed money and my husband thought we should sell the plates but we could never do it. They're made up of all these layers--not to mention the horror of relinguishing the visual of my tall, manly father-in-law sitting in his barcalounger in a velour jumper lovingly polishing each one. I've had people commented on the useless sentimentaly of holding on to everything but it's not about sentiment. It's about history, something I think isn't well respected in our culture. I talked to my son about his comment and he added to it--it's not about poutting on a show of wealth or class. He said the best thing about the plates were they gave our guests a sense that we put out our best for them in our decidely unfancy house.
I have written many times about family heirlooms and the unusual items that people treasure and what they mean to the family. The key bit of EVERY family heirloom is knowing its story of who it belonged to and where it came from and those silver plates and goblets will forever live on in your families memory!
You're so right, Paul. The most treasured hierloom I have is a small beat up wood box that held my grandfather's possessions when he came over from Ireland. He would tell my dad of the treasures that were in it and that he would get upon his death. Problem was the key had been lost when he died so my dad pryed open the lock and there they were, my grandfather's treasure: a blue sweather, cigar box that held some coins, a lock of hair tied with a pink ribbon, buttons, and his and his children's birth certificates. I need to tell my kids the story so they don't see it as just an old wooden box instead of containing their heritage.
Strange lately I have been thinking about my own treasured possessions and if my own children would like to keep them going through the generations or would they sell them thinking of them as just space waster. Since I have boys I think the sentimental meaning may be lost on them. I do have many nieces whom might appreciate the gesture more, but it’s a dilemma for me touched by both guilt (omitting my sons) or perhaps uncertainty. Hopefully I will have time left to decide. Thank you for yet another interesting historical personal story. Love learning so much from your writings.
It is weird, isn't it? In putting things away I've found some of my mom's things in the back of the closet, mainly a pair of wobbly silver candlestick holders. I think they were a wedding present. They're silverplated and so tarnished I couldn't really shine them. I was going to put them in ther Salvation Army bag but then I saw they had a wooden platform underneath that my dad made to keep them from wobbling. That got me! and back they went. I loved your sons'. Mine are the opposite--I something think they've already parcelled out everything in the house, especially the dining room table! I brought up that they have wives who want their f
Yep. I think my DILs are even less sentimental than my sons. Sigh…oh well!
I can so relate. Everyone in my family knows I am the one who will take any family memento—I've gotten anything from my dad's 1920s twin bed frame (shipped from California to Illinois) to scraps of paper bearing my grandmother's name tucked away in an old game table. I treasure each piece because each is a little piece of a long gone family member.
I am, too! Except for some very valuable things my sister kept. But I don't care about them. I rather have the everyday things. One burden is my family thinks I'll write about them. This story is the first one I told. I don't know why except I feel you have to have the story behind them and those for the most part have been lost. But I gotta get on the stick about finding it out.
I think it's so touching that Sam and Al feel strongly about holding on to family heirlooms. It means that they truly cherish the moments at your dining room table, and want to continue the tradition as they move forward. Sweet, so sweet.
It is and it sort of has taken me aback. The thing is Sam's wife has very strong feelings for her mom's table. They're great cooks so they'll have lot of dinner parties but not sure he'll win that battle. Al would want it but his fiance didn't grow up with a family table and neither of them really cook. Good thing I'm not going to be around!
Anne that reminds me of my family silverware that my Mother treasured and left it to me. When my daughter married I asked her if she wanted it and the response was no thanks. So since there was only one nephew with the family name and he had a daughter I gave her the family silverware. I always remember how we had to polish it as is was used every thanksgiving for dinner with my great aunts and uncles in attendance with our family in a very crowded small kitchen.
My sister got the china even though my mom wanted it to go to me (family drama there). She also got the silverware. She's the oldest and was married and gave dinner parties so it made sense at the time. She says I should use my plates for everyday since they are everyday and then I should buy fine china. I think I'm beyond all that now and just love setting the table as we always have done. That's the important thing.
Wine...yes, lots of it.
From the detailed comments I see that you have hit a nerve. I, too, have been wrestling with what my son and his wife will truly want as my mom's set of Lenox sits in our garage waiting for them to have the room. A lovely piece.
I didn't think it would, either. Something about it being the dining plates, all the drama and fun around the table, I don't know. Then again, the one thing my husband and his brothers fought over was the two stereo cabinets their dad had made afterbhe became famous. We got them. I secretly hate them because they're too massive and REALLY have a dark history in their family. But there they are, centered in the living room, and my sons fight over them AND the dining room table AND the damn silver!
Pat, this piece really tugged at my heart. Silver and all these possessions we have inherited from family before us out of duty and also because they are beautiful - when polished! - is complicated. You write about it well and all the messy complications. Not sure if my children will ever want family silver because of its upkeep. I hope they do. Family dinners, special occasions, looking fancy for one meal a year - I hope they do!
That's what I felt about the silver plates but over the years, as I hope I got in, they've been such a part of the family. My sons argue about who gets the dining room table which I don't have the heart to tell them that their wives won't want because they'll have their parents' tables. The linens are my thing--a couple of table cloths that were my mom and are so pretty, especially as they are stained in places from the holiday meals she made.--who irons and starch linens anymore?!--because, as you say, they make one meal a year look lovely.
It's nice to see that some people still cherish things that have sentimental value. There are reminders of past and present generations of our family in every room of our house.
However, more and more when we talk to other retired family members and friends we are hearing over and over again that the next generation is not interested in inheriting our stuff. So, in their opinion, there is no point in saving it.
Although there is no question that we are weighed down with stuff, we are going to keep it around for now. I am not sure when we'll be ready to let go...
My sister has been downsizing--and she had to as the one who really wanted things, not only of our family but our aunt who she was close to. The argument has been that she is the one with daughters who would want china, silverware, heirlooms. But they don't want them. They're not their taste and they're not sentimental. I lobbied for our grandmother's cake dish and plates. I just got them because the daughters disliked them. On the other hand, there are my sentimental sons who are very keen about keeping the dining room table, silver, and crystal together, I think because we had so much fun using them. It's weird, isn't it?
Thank you--this is such an important part of it. There's been occasions when we needed money and my husband thought we should sell the plates but we could never do it. They're made up of all these layers--not to mention the horror of relinguishing the visual of my tall, manly father-in-law sitting in his barcalounger in a velour jumper lovingly polishing each one. I've had people commented on the useless sentimentaly of holding on to everything but it's not about sentiment. It's about history, something I think isn't well respected in our culture. I talked to my son about his comment and he added to it--it's not about poutting on a show of wealth or class. He said the best thing about the plates were they gave our guests a sense that we put out our best for them in our decidely unfancy house.