Wilderness Prep, Cowboys, and the Cannabis Store
Saturday News Scraps Newsletter, V1/E8
Table of Contents
Your May 1 Options
Man vs. Wilderness
A Famous Cowboy’s Extra-Special Super-Secrets
In Line at the Local Cannabis Store
How to Order Lunch at Bob’s Diner
Recommended Reading
Your May 1 Options
May 1 is a very busy day, with at least 86 holidays assigned to it. Perhaps the most famous is International Workers Day. It is also Worthy Wage Day to call attention to the prevalence of teachers’ abysmal salaries in America, and unsurprisingly, National Phone in Sick Day.
The other 83 range widely with nothing at all in common, including the ancient Celtic Festival of Beltane, World Laughter Day, and International Clitoris Awareness Week that combats female circumcision.
Pick one or several to celebrate and couple it with the most important observance: NATIONAL CHOCOLATE PARFAIT DAY!!
Man Vs. Wilderness The preparations
My brother, Joe, believes he’s headed into his infirmed dotage. His remedy is for him and his best friend to drag their time-worn beaten bones through half of the Pennsylvania stretch of the Appalachian Trail. That’s about 150 rocky, although somewhat flat, miles through a terrain that has more than its share of wildlife, including copperheads and rattlesnakes. Other than his bashed up knees and weak ankles from basketball and running, Joe is not infirmed nor anywhere near dotage. There’s some concern about his friend, though.
Joe is a very good cook who errs on the side of eccentric ingredients, which will influence his camping repertory. I’m (kind of) planning to meet up with the men for a few days, and we’ve talked about trying to make some video. That in itself could be a disastrous hoot. Stay tuned.
Any suggestions for what Joe will need? Let us know in the comment section!
A Famous Cowboy’s Extra-Special Super-Secrets Bill Magee spills his beans
Bill Magee’s Western Barbecue Cookbook (Murray & Gee, Inc., 1949) is one of the finest books on barbecue ever printed. Magee’s encyclopedic knowledge of cooking over a large fire pit is one distinction; the other is his humor, a trait that is miserably rare in cookbooks. There’s absolutely no evidence Magee was a true cowboy, as he claims to be. Nor is there evidence he was a real person. Neither matters.
Bill prefers cooking over white oak and grudgingly admits that wood from grapefruit, orange, and olive trees would be ok if only because they impart a nice flavor. And he’d rather cook the whole animal than individual cuts because there’s nothing as satisfying as seeing for yourself which part of an animal you’re eating.
Take it for granted that the steer has been run down with a good horse, roped, tied, killed and skinned.
After all he has to say about cooking an impressive array of animal, fowl, fish, amphibians, and reptiles (but not mussels which he claims are poisonous), Magee includes bits of kitchen wisdom. As the barbeque season commences, we’ll turn to Bill again for his wisdom and recipes. In case you can’t find your own copy of his book in a secondhand bookstore or on eBay, I will share with you a couple of Bill’s tips.
Hints and Oddities
"Palomar Mountain Trout" is the name given to Bill Magee's favorite way of cooking bacon: Soak the bacon for five minutes in ice water to remove salt, roll in flour, and fry crisp.
Magee swears it is true that tortillas in the old days were shaped and patted over the upper leg of the (female) cook.
Quail gizzards, when spitted on a skewer in a row and broiled over a hot fire, make an excellent appetizer.
Fond as he is of hot sauce, Magee advises to "lay off" all sauces for fine-flavored meat like venison.In Line at the Local Cannabis Store
It used to be a dry cleaning store owned by a nice couple from Greece. Clouds of unclaimed wedding dresses over the last 50 years hung from the ceiling, and the wife let customers pay later if they didn’t have the funds to pick up a needed article of clothing. They retired about a year ago and the store was transformed into a shiny emporium with an attractive array of fancy hookahs in the window.
The woman customer looks to be in her mid-to-late 40s. She leans heavily on the glass counter to inspect the merchandise.
“I’d like something mild but not too mild.”
“For anything in particular?” asks the friendly man behind the counter. He’s no older than late 20s.
“Like a glass of wine buzz.”
“A glass of wine?”
“Like sauvignon blanc.”
“OK,” he says, clearly not thinking her reply helpful. He pulls out a small gold and black box. “Try this.”
She picks it up, inspects it, reads the fine print on the back, and places it down on the counter again. The box reads, Chocolate Nugs Imported Infused Belgium Dark Chocolate
“I’m on a diet,” she says, turns, and leaves empty handed.
Next customer steps up. “I’ll take two!” she exclaims, suddenly inspired to sprinkle shavings of Chocolate Nugs over her May 1st chocolate parfait.
How to Order Lunch at Bob's Diner
I would like the bool with a dress one pig and a brunette. Then maybe angel’s delight.
(a bowl of the soup of the day, a ham sandwich with a cup of coffee, and a piece of cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top)And don’t be a Bay State bum, either!
(a customer who demands a lot of service and doesn’t leave a tip)
Recommended Reading
Pryor Publications is still in business. They offer an interesting mix of historical cookery books along side A Plain Cookery for the Working Class including such alluring titles as Love Courtship and Marriage, or How to Win a Lover, John Bull’s Book of Pitfalls, and The Convict Ship Success. You’re sure to find many other fascinating titles on their list to fill your summer reading basket!
Don’t forget to leave comments and suggestions for what kind of food or equipment my brother Joe should bring along on his Appalachian Trail adventure!
You have no idea how grateful I’d be if you spread America Eats! around to family, friends, and unsuspecting strangers!
Right?!!
How did I miss Parfait Day!? 😳😂