Comic Relief, Surreal Domestic Bliss, Young Man Encounters Old Woman Buying Potent CBD

Table of Contents:

• Office of Much Needed Comic Relief

• Domestic Bliss Dept.

• Hitchhiking with the Professor

• Food We Decided Not to Try

• The Sanity Beat

• The Parting Glass

This week’s Saturday News Scraps starts off with a masthead entry from the Office of Much Needed Comic Relief

Family Follies

This week’s video shows irrefutable evidence that two sisters successfully dragged their niece, nephew, and his very good-natured girlfriend out into a snowstorm (the only one of the winter) to find their childhood sledding hill after the entire family’s first post-COVID blow-out cocktail/wine/full-course meal/high-octane liqueur dinner, thus demonstrating that one way to forget the world’s troubles is to do something precariously outlandish to aging bodies.

Domestic Bliss Dept.

If they’re very lucky, women form a powerful bond at the point in their lives when all outward appearances indicate they are domestically settled. Children constantly weave in and out of their presence, meals are prepared, household chores seen to. But what really flows between them is a mutual understanding of their inner lives and the passions that rule them. Leonora Carrington and Remedios Varo, two of the most important 20th century Surrealist artists, were such friends. They spent their days together in the kitchen with Carrington’s children popping in and out, cats stretched across the floor, a pot or two of something on the stove. But what Carrington and Varo really focused on was their shared devotion to their art suffused in their Celtic and Mexican mystic heritages. All the women in their works are depicted living as they themselves did—engaged in an ordinary life impregnated with mythical meaning, always accompanied by fantastical, visionary creatures. Recipes, viewed as a form of art, did not escape their magic. All while their family life bounded about them.

Grandma Moorhead’s Aromatic Kitchen, Leonora Carrington, 1975

Recipe for Erotic Dreams (as written by Carrington and Varo)

Ingredients:

A kilo of strong roots
three white hens
a head of garlic
four kilos of honey
a mirror
two calf livers
a brick
two clothespins
a corset with stays
two false moustaches
hats to taste

Directions:

Put on the corset and make it quite tight. Sit down in front of the mirror, relax your nervous tension, smile and try on the mustaches and hats according to taste (three-cornered, Napoleonic, Basque, Beret, etc.)… Run and pour the broth (which should be very reduced) quickly into a cup.  Quickly come back with it to in front of the mirror, smile, take a sip of broth, try on one of the mustaches, take another sip, try on a hat, drink, try on everything, taking sips in between and do it all as quickly as you can.

Hitchhiking With the Professor

An appreciation of An Eccentric Culinary History

H. D. Miller’s academic prowess extends from his multiple Yale University degrees to his current position as a history professor in the politics and philosophy department at Lipscomb University. His culinary scholarship is included in a James Beard Award nominated essay collection. This is why you can count on him to know what he’s talking about. Miller’s dry sense of humor, screwy outlook, and extensive interests would be the main reason to eagerly hang out with him. Consider, for example, a few of his story subjects: a meditation on the merits of Chinese buffets, a history of the football players’ fluctuating weight, and the 19th century restauranter, Sam Riddleburger, once known as the fattest man in Tennessee.

A good place to begin your own appreciation of Miller’s newsletter is with his loving tribute to jerky. You might even consider subscribing to keep on being enlightened and amused by his restless mind.

Chewing Jerky Makes Your Face More Formidable

Food We Decided Not to Try

We rarely draw the line, but this may be one time we will, even though we’re very much in favor of ice cream and herring. Just not together. The idea popped into the creator’s head one day, and he saw no reason not to go with it. He admits that the flavor is a bit of an acquired taste and has advised against having a scoop if you’ll be kissing someone later.

Herring Ice Cream

The Sanity Beat

Barrage Offense

If, for instance, your morning begins with being walloped by the latest Ukrainian horror and that leads to a breakfast of half a 21-ounce vanilla almond-crumb–topped pizza from Hummel Hummel Bakery, you might want to check in with Headspace, a mediation app that was considered among the best before the pandemic and only grew in esteem during its course. One recent session, “Breathing in Hope,” somewhat successfully imparted the strength to let go of the vanilla almond-crumb–topped pizza and, instead, embrace a more productive and calming perspective on mankind.

Note on one of the common complaints about Headspace: It isn’t cheap, but there’s a generous 14-day free trial. That time alone may kick-start a beneficial practice. (And, no, I don’t receive any money from them. I just thought you might like to know about one way to rein in life’s craziness.)

The Parting Glass

The real attraction of this drink for an old woman is having the opportunity to rattle a young man. Start by walking into the CBD shop that, according to your son, sells the REALLY good stuff. Say hi to the kid who is slow to raise his head from his phone and, when he finally does, gives you a clear WTF glance. It only deepens when you ask about the availability of highly purified, potent weed that is perhaps stored under the counter. You buy a good amount and promise to bring him some of whatever you decide to make. He takes a second to decide, accompanied by a “what’s wrong with this woman, and when is she leaving,” attitude, then he says, “Ummmm, okaaaaay….” to which you sing, “Byeeee!”

And out you go with the necessary ingredients for salted chocolates, a very acceptable alternative to your nightly martini and/or wine.

There are so many recipes out there in this category that you don’t need a new one. But just in case….

Start by making CBD butter, then melt 2 cup of bitter chocolate, stir in 2 or 3 tablespoons of butter (depending on your personal preferences), pour into molds, refrigerate. Nibble accordingly.